Self-help guide
Small, steady changes that can help sleep return.
A plain-language guide to how sleep works and the everyday steps, supported by the evidence, that tend to help when nights have become difficult.
When sleep stops coming, the nights feel long and the days feel heavy, and the harder you try to sleep, the further off it can seem. If that is where you are, you are not alone, and there are steady, ordinary changes that tend to help.
This is general information written by our clinicians, not personal clinical advice, and it is not a way to diagnose yourself. Everyone's sleep is different, and persistent sleep problems can have medical causes that need a doctor. If you would like to think it through with someone, you are welcome to see us on our Sleep and adjustment therapy page, or speak with your GP.
What is going on
What drives sleep, in plain language
Two things mostly decide when we feel sleepy. Understanding them takes a lot of the mystery, and some of the worry, out of a difficult night.
The first is sleep pressure. From the moment we wake, a natural drive to sleep slowly builds through the day, the longer we are awake, the stronger it grows, until by night it is strong enough to carry us off. A long daytime nap, or dozing on the couch in the evening, releases some of that pressure early, so there can be less of it left at bedtime.
The second is the body clock, the roughly twenty-four-hour rhythm that tells the body when to feel alert and when to wind down. It is set largely by light, especially morning light, and by keeping fairly regular times for waking, eating and going to bed. Good sleep tends to come when these two systems line up: high sleep pressure at night, and a body clock pointed towards rest.
Here is the part that catches many of us out. Worrying about sleep, and trying hard to make ourselves sleep, tends to backfire. The effort and the worry switch on the body's alert system, the very opposite of the calm that sleep needs, so the trying keeps us awake. Sleep is not something we can force; it comes when we make room for it. The steps below are about making that room, not about trying harder.
Things that can help
Steady steps that tend to help
These are safe, ordinary changes that Australian sleep guidance supports. None is a quick fix; they work gently and over time, so it is worth giving any change a couple of weeks. Pick one or two to start with rather than changing everything at once.
- Keep a regular wake-up time. Getting up at about the same time every day, including weekends, is one of the most powerful anchors for the body clock. A steady wake-up time does more for your nights than a fixed bedtime, and it lets sleep pressure build to the same point each day.
- Have a wind-down routine. Give yourself a calm half hour or so before bed doing the same quiet things each night, dimming the lights, a warm shower, reading, slow breathing. A gentle, repeated routine is a signal to the body that the day is ending.
- Use the bed for sleep only, and get up if sleep will not come. If you are lying awake and frustrated, rather than staying in bed willing yourself to sleep, get up, go to another room, and do something quiet and unstimulating in dim light until you feel sleepy, then return to bed. This helps the bed stay linked with sleep rather than with lying awake. Keeping the bed for sleep, and not for working, scrolling or worrying, strengthens that link.
- Get morning light. Daylight soon after waking, a walk outside or time by a bright window, helps set the body clock for the day and supports sleepiness coming at night.
- Watch caffeine, alcohol and screens before bed. Caffeine is a stimulant and can linger for many hours, so it helps to keep coffee, strong tea, cola and energy drinks to earlier in the day. Alcohol may feel relaxing but tends to break sleep up later in the night. Bright screens late in the evening can make it harder to wind down, so it helps to ease off them before bed.
- Manage night-time worry on purpose. If your mind races the moment your head hits the pillow, it can help to set aside a little "worry time" earlier in the evening, well before bed, to write down what is on your mind and any next steps, so it is captured on paper rather than circling at night. Keeping a notepad by the bed for the stray thought that arrives at 2am can let you put it down until morning.
- Do not clock-watch. Checking the time through the night tends to feed worry and the sense of "how little sleep I am getting", which only makes sleep harder. Turning the clock away, or out of sight, takes that pressure off.
A note on safety. This guide does not cover sleep medication, and it is not the place to start, stop or change any medicine or treatment; that is a conversation for your doctor. If your sleep difficulty is bound up with distressing memories or trauma, please do not try to work through those alone; gentle, supported help is the right path, and you are welcome to reach out to us or your GP.
“Sleep is not something we can force; it is something we can make room for again.”
When to seek more help
When to see your GP, and where to turn
Self-help is a good start, and it is also right to involve a doctor when certain signs are present. Some sleep problems have medical causes that need looking at, and your GP is the place to begin.
Please book a time with your GP if you notice any of these:
- You snore loudly, or someone has noticed you stop breathing or gasp in your sleep
- You feel very sleepy during the day, for example dozing off when you do not mean to, or feeling unsafe to drive
- Your poor sleep persists despite trying the steps above, or it is wearing down your mood, focus or daily life
These can be signs of conditions, such as sleep apnoea, that benefit from medical assessment. If poor sleep continues, your GP can look into the possible causes and, where it is needed, arrange a sleep service or study. This is general information and not a diagnosis; your GP can talk with you about what fits your situation.
If you are struggling to cope, or feeling unsafe or that you might harm yourself, please reach out now. Lifeline is available any time on 13 11 14. In an emergency, or if someone's life is in danger, call 000.
Would it help to think this through with someone?
If sleep has been hard for a while, or a change in life is keeping you awake, you do not have to sort it out alone. You can read more on our Sleep and adjustment therapy page, request an appointment, or call 0452 452 262. You do not need a referral for a private appointment.
Request an appointmentSources: Sleep Health Foundation (Australia), consumer fact sheets on healthy sleep, insomnia and good sleep habits. Centre for Clinical Interventions (CCI), WA Health, self-help information on sleep and the behavioural strategies behind it. The Royal Australian College of General Practitioners (RACGP), guidance for general practice on the assessment and management of sleep difficulties, including when to consider a sleep service. This page is general information written by our clinicians, not a substitute for individual clinical advice, and it is not a way to diagnose yourself. If you are concerned about your sleep, please speak with your GP.